Have you ever noticed that the same situation, on two different days, can create two completely different experiences? In this session of the Conscious Forum, we dive into: Your Thoughts and Your Emotions: Keeping You Healthy.
Video Transcript:
Dr. A: …Live from Manchester, England. So, you know, we talk about with the Conscious Forum that life will have its up and downs. It’ll have different things happen to it. And I’m currently in Manchester, England, here for the delivery of my daughter’s first baby. And so, oh my gosh, Chris, you are a piece of work, but thank you very much [Chris uses a celebration effect on screen]. It hasn’t happened yet. We’re still anticipating, but we’re working in the right direction. And so, hopefully today, it’ll happen later this evening. So, I came back to my hotel to do this presentation, and then I’ll head back to the hospital. So, hopefully, I’m going to become a grandfather tonight. And I’m pretty excited about that.
So today we’re going to talk about something that’s near and dear to all of us. It’s something we have. It’s our thoughts and our emotions. And you know, over the last 30, 40 years, being a physician and watching, you know, as people have become unhealthy and eventually sick. And as a critical care physician, I’ve taken care of the sickest people in the intensive care unit. And people don’t get that way overnight. It’s a long, drawn-out process. And as I look at all the reasons why we get sick, you know, obviously there’s a small amount that are our genetics, you know, we’d love to pick our parents, but we can’t. In whole, about 30% of what happens to us in terms of our health is our genetics, but 70% are our choices, and they’re choices that are made in an environment that’s not conducive to creating optimal health.
One of the things I’ve noted over the years is, yeah, unhealthy food and unhealthy processed food is not good for us, and a sedentary lifestyle, and certainly not sleeping well, but all those things are exacerbated by our thoughts and our feelings. It’s our emotions and things that really create the stress in our life that causes emotional eating, causes us not to sleep well at night, and so one of the things, you know, I’ve addressed many times, but I’ll think of many different ways to approach it and different aspects sometimes work better for other people, for some different people. So I’m going to talk today about your thoughts and your emotions and how we can help you become healthier, stay healthy, because very clearly your ability to — what it says at the bottom — create internal stability within your mind and external equilibrium within your friends and your relationships, your family people in your community, the people you work with, all those things are critical.
So basically, I want to start by talking about if you ever noticed that the same situation, on two different days, can really create two completely different experiences. One day it rolls right off of you. The next day, it completely takes you out. I mean completely. Same situation, different experience. You know, why is that? Well, many years ago, early in my career, after working with thousands of people, studying health, metabolism, and behavior, I had one of those life-changing moments. Everything was objectively fine, but my mind was not. I was running all these scenarios, creating stress, realizing that I was reacting emotionally, even though nothing had actually happened. I was creating scenarios one through 100. I think it was while I was trying to get to sleep one night, while being on call, and that’s when it hit me. Basically, it wasn’t my life creating the stress. It was my thinking about my life that was creating the stress. And at that moment, I realized something very profound: If we don’t learn how to manage our thoughts and lead our emotions, we’re always going to be at the mercy of our own mind.
Now, if you think about that, you’ve got to carry that thing around with you for your whole life. No one else has it. You have it. You’re in control of it. So, basically, that brings me to what we’re going to be talking about today. You know, after more than 25 years of helping people create health, I can tell you with certainty, this is one of the most overlooked parts of our health and our relationships, and it’s by far the most important. So, basically, I want to show you something powerful: how your thoughts and your emotions change your health every single day, and more importantly, how to take control of them.
So your biology follows your physiology and your psychology. Every thought sends chemistry through your brain and through your body. And as many times as you have one of those moments, if you don’t change those experiences by changing the outcome — your response to the outcome, nothing will change. And we have these patterns. We have basically patterns that control our life and certain stimuli that do certain things. And if we don’t break that, we’re going to be stuck. And we really don’t want that. Because autopilot — thoughts create reactive emotions, and when the mind runs on default, the body pays the price.
So this is really important, and this is what, you know, everything you’ve read about or heard about meditation, about awareness, about presence, I talk a lot about it — stopping in the moment — but basically being present is the only way you get out of those automatic cycles and get out of that automatic response. So stress is not only the event, it’s also the meaning your mind assigns to that event. So I think that’s really, really critical. So with that, thoughts create emotion, release hormones, which determine what happens to your health. That’s why when you’re in a good mood, things are happening great, you feel coherent, you feel like life is really going well, you feel like you’re in the zone. It creates a concert feeling within you. Your physiology, your emotions, and your cognitive ability all become concert. They work together. It’s what we call coherence or being in the zone. It’s really, really important for us. And basically, we’ve got those moments when you’re watching a brilliant sunset or a moment with a loved one where you’re holding hands and expressing — you know, I’ve been sensing that a lot. You know, my new son-in-law and my daughter, myself, like we’ve been in this process of waiting for this baby to come. And it’s been a really beautiful experience, and it’s been coherent, and all of a sudden, all the other things don’t matter. This becomes the primary event that’s going on. And they’re beautiful moments.
But the opposite is also true. If you have thoughts that are negative and you’re creating negative emotions, you’re going to release all the hormones that are there. It becomes a perceived threat. Your mind, your thoughts think, “Wow, I’m being threatened here.” And as a result of that, your body has defense mechanisms and it releases cortisol and epinephrine, norepinephrine. It was designed to, you know, the the four “F’s” either to fight, to flight, to faint or basically to freeze. And those were mechanisms to protect you from dying. Those threats that were so real 100,000 years ago are mostly perceived now. And unless we really take the moment, that repetition turns into [unintelligible 00:07:30] with rumination into what I like to call metabolic burden.
That metabolic burden affects our metabolic health. 90% of us, basically, as many of us now know, are creating metabolic dysfunction as a result of that and so our body is not working as a well-oiled machine. It’s actually stressed out and as a result of that all kinds of chemicals are being released which decrease our health. So a steadier mind creates a steadier body. Lower internal noise supports recovery, energy and resilience. That’s why it’s so important, like when I came back from the hospital, I wanted to be here, out of that environment so I could really focus on talking with you fine folks and making sure that we’re in position, where we’re coherent, where I’m not distracted. It also makes me feel a sense of calm where I can basically educate it at a higher level and I can really listen to you and people always say, you know it always seems that I’m the only person in the room when you’re talking to me and that’s by intention because there’s a lot of distractions, a lot of things that the mind can be doing and including, what am I having for dinner or what’s what’s going on next? What’s my schedule? And all those things. By learning, we want to have external equilibrium with the people in our lives, we need to truly understand them and be compassionate with them and be empathetic.
Those are the things that build in that relational health that’s so critical because when we have external equilibrium, it’s much easier to be internally stable. Hopefully, this is making sense for you guys. So, external equilibrium is that inner calm — improves your relationships. Just as we mentioned, you can literally change the emotions of a room and the climate, the emotional climate of a room. You can tell when a leader comes in. Basically, they bring a sense of calm to the room. The room becomes less chaotic. People are listening. You know, you have the old — I think it was a commercial for financial EF Hutton, you know, when he talks, people listen. So, that’s an important, valuable tool for you to be able to work and work with your family, your friends, and certainly in your occupation.
[00:09:33] So, awareness creates choice. What you notice, you can interrupt and redirect. If you’re starting to feel, you know, we talk about how events happen, like every four or five seconds in our life. So as events happen, we start to drift. And if we’re not careful, it will drift down into what we call the Drama Triangle. And at that point, then it becomes like what most of the world’s doing, all you have to do is turn on the news right now. Everybody’s pointing their finger. They’re either blaming, they’re basically, you know, blaming on someone else, they’re feeling they’re a victim, or they’re trying to be a hero and save someone. And none of those things are advantageous to help us work in a highly effective way. That creates emotional turmoil, and certainly is not good for our health.
So the pause between trigger and response, that is the key. That gap between stimulus and response. So we’re not going to that automatic behavior. That’s the pause where wisdom returns. Where, you know, I’ve written many of my books, I’ve written about the limbic area of your brain. We have the lower area, the reptilian brain. We have the labrador brain, which is the emotional brain. And then we have the prefrontal cortex which is the human brain. This up here, prefrontal cortex, is the executive centers where we make wise decisions. Where we don’t do stupid things. When we basically don’t allow ourselves to get that far because our emotional brain has been activated, and we’ve now gone down into that emotional Drama Triangle. At that point, we no longer make the smart decisions. That’s when we go, well, why didn’t I just pause?
You know, there are people on death row who wish they had stopped, challenged, and chosen, which is my iconic way of actually creating that pause and creating the gap between stimulus and response, which is so critical. And basically, the practice is: Stop. Challenge. Choose. Stop the reaction. Stop the automatic response. Challenge the story. What story am I telling here? What am I actually saying? And then choose the next response, one that actually moves forward. So, in our relationships, it’s so critical that we do that so that we don’t get emotional. You know, a lot of times when I’m in a meeting that might be emotionally charged, I always like to have a bottle of water and I’ll have the cap on it, and before I respond, I’ll take the cap off, take a couple big swigs, and then check myself. You know, there’s a— in Veil, where I ski, there’s a train park, and at the beginning of the train park, there’s a little sign that says, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” And that’s so important in our lives because so many of us— we end up doing bonehead stuff. Saying stuff we wish we regret right after we do it.
And simply when we start feeling that— what I like to call the “icky sauce,”—and you know that— you know the feeling, you get it, a clenching in your jaw, tightness in your throat, a like a lump in your throat or a tightness in your chest or this kind of feeling of butterflies or something in your stomach. All those things are telling you there’s something going on emotionally inside of me. Make sure you stop, challenge, why am I feeling that? And if you’re feeling emotion, make sure you feel it all the way through before you respond. So important. And so it’s about reframing, changing the story, changing the change of the state. I mean, I came over here a week, I’ve been here a week, and I came over for Savannah’s birthday. Thought she was going to deliver. That was her due date— was like the day after that. We have not had a baby for over a week. And rather than say, “Oh gosh, I should have come over later. I’ve got so much going on and here I am hanging out.” Bottom line is no. It’s been an amazing week right before delivery of spending time with her and bonding with her and her husband and having them show me some of the things here in Manchester, going for long walks every day to help her move along.
Also, keep me from making sure I’m getting enough movement to maintain and optimize my metabolic health. We went for a beautiful walk yesterday afternoon in an incredible garden in a little town called Digsby and then sat outside and had a cappuccino before deciding that, you know, what we really better start back before Savannah delivers. She actually went in last night and started the labor process. But it’s been beautiful. The week has been beautiful. Rather than, “Oh, no. I’m wasting time.” No, this is some of the most important times in my life. And now I know changing the story, reframing it, you know, it’s happening to me because I can create an amazing experience without the rush, because once the baby comes, the focus goes on the baby. So it’s been a great opportunity to spend time, catch up on their lives and really get into where they’re being in their little apartment and spending time there playing cards with them and just enjoying. Those things are so important. Those are the things that matter in our lives. It’s not the other stuff.
So emotional mastery is about feeling those emotions. I was just talking about that. Feeling the emotions without becoming them. You want to feel the emotions all the way through, but don’t let them take you over. When emotions take us over, they’re just signals that we should work with. They’re not identities to wear like, oh, I’m mad now. Well, you know, what does that mean? What does that mean? Being mad or being angry is usually a symptom that something needs to change. So be curious about it. Why am I angry about this? And then realizing that emotion, and then moving beyond it. So so important versus, “Oh, I’m mad,” you know, or “I’m hangry.” Well, okay, get some food, but in the meantime, don’t let it define you. I mean, it’s so important for us to realize that we are not our thoughts and we are not our emotions.
So we’re going to practice. I’ve done this quite a bit lately. I can’t tell you how important your breathing is. You know, our breathing is part of the autonomic nervous system. It’s under parasympathetic control normally, which allows us to breathe slow and deep. But for most of us, we’re basically in a high sympathetic outflow because of the fear of things going on in the world, the stress of life, and our ability to not manage it correctly. Most of us, if you really sense, and I always like— we’re going to do this little exercise now. But what I’d love you to do, and hopefully my voice, and just sitting here and calming down and listening, you’ve changed. But it’s good to check yourself during the day. Where am I breathing from? Am I breathing deep from my diaphragm? Is it slow? And can I feel— if you put your hand on your chest and your belly, you should feel the breathing. You’re actually, when you breathe in, your belly should expand out. And that shows you that you’re breathing diaphragmatically, which is healthy. Allows you to fill your lungs much more as well as relax you and it makes you feel more centered.
So it’s always good to assess that and then say, “Okay, well, I’m breathing a little shallow from up here, so I need to take control of that.” The beautiful thing about your breathing, normally you don’t think about it, but you can think about it. And when you do think about it, you now put yourself in position to be able to take that over and actually change the conditioning of it. So you can first observe that breathing. You can allow it and then you can choose and one thing to do is breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds and wait four seconds before — we call box breathing. That’s a nice easy one to remember. But just by taking control of that.
So let do that because it— let’s just spend two minutes right now doing that. First, sense, where is your breathing right now? So if I sense mine… it’s actually pretty calm, and it’s pretty relaxed. I’m feeling very centered. I feel so blessed to be over here, getting to participate in my daughter bringing a new human being into the world, which is really cool. And I reflected on that, you know, my wife passed away eight years ago. Basically, our anniversary was a couple days ago, or yesterday, actually, on the 6th, and thinking how cool it is that we’re now bringing another beautiful young lady into the world. So, you know, that gratitude, all those things are centering and you all of a sudden you feel really grateful for the things in your life.
So, anyway, go ahead and do this. Just go ahead and spend a moment and do the deep breathing and really get used to— this can be such a game changer for you and for your health, just by doing this like once an hour or so. The other thing along with it, I’m just going to tell you because metabolic health is becoming center-focused and a lot of the things that we’re doing to help people create Optimal Health and Wellbeing is also movement. So, if you’ve been sitting, working, get up, take those breaths, and then do some motion. You know, walk up and down the stairs. Do some, you know, depending on your health and your underlying physical ability, do some lunges or whatever, or just walk to the water fountain if you’re at work. Making sure you’re combining those two can really reset everything. And in real time, it’s actually doing it right now, which is really cool. It’s not a theoretical thing.
[00:18:30] One of the things that I’m spending more time working with people is to pick all the moments in your life to work on your movement and your breathing. Don’t just wait, “Oh, I’m going to do that later,” because when you put that off, you’re not allowing yourself to fully enjoy all these wonderful things that can help you impact and improve the quality of your life. So basically, the impact is calmer thoughts, lower stress, and clearly better metabolism. The mind can either tax the body or support it. So, so really important. So, in closing, you may not control everything, but you can control what controls you and basically that is so important for us to realize because we can make all the difference. So, with that, let’s open it up for questions. Rachel, what questions do we have?
Rachel: All right, first up we have Deanna. Deanna, can you come off mute? There you are.
Deanna: Hello. Thank you. Good morning, Dr. A. And thank you for being here on such a fabulous occasion because that’s a big step.
Dr. A: That is a big step.
Deanna: It is a big step. And happy belated anniversary.
Dr. A: Thank you. Thank you so much.
Deanna: That means so much for you being here and your presence. And I want to just say, because my question stems from last month, but it continues into this month, sort of speakingly, and… I know where I’m at. I know the tools, the resources, that are available to me, and it’s still like, you know, we always…with this shift of focusing on metabolic health, your mind’s still stuck in a I’m looking at that number, or I’m looking at that metabolic age, and I’m looking at this, I’m looking at that, and why doesn’t it change? So my question was basically, what is it called when you’re stuck, yet if one stops focusing on what it’s not moving or wrong and then you stop focusing on that and it works out. I don’t think it’s necessarily what it’s called, is what I’m looking for, but why or, you know, because, again… awareness. Stop. Challenge. Choose. Breathe. Whatever your outlet is. Sometimes it takes that shift to shut that mind down and stop focusing on that particular item. You set a primary goal. You do steps that you’re going to reach it. You don’t reach it. So then you start going backwards.
Dr. A: Yeah. Well, the bottom line is you’re talking about emotional manipulation. It’s called conflict manipulation. You’re basically… that motivation doesn’t work. Emotional motivation does not work. Okay. It may work for a short period of time to get you to do something, but it’s not long lasting. The creative process is a very different thing. So if you’re focusing on a goal, something you want to accomplish and you didn’t reach it, you know, to then reflect on that and say, “Oh, I didn’t reach the goal, you know, what was either feeling sorry for yourself or judging yourself like, yep, once again, I failed.” That serves no purpose. That’s emotional where you’re now letting your emotions control you versus what you really want. Organizing your life around what matters most is figuring out what are the things you want and focusing on that. If, you know, right now— are you standing up? Looks like you’re standing up.
Deanna: I am.
Dr. A: Okay. Are you outside?
Deanna: I am.
Dr. A: Okay. All right. So what is some — let’s be really simple here. I’m going to make this as simple as I can and hopefully it’ll help. So what is something that you really really really want to accomplish right now in your health?
Deanna: Well, it’s a combination of things, but, my question is not just about me. I’ts about others…
Dr. A: No, no, no, no, no. I’m in charge now.
Deanna: Okay.
Dr. A: You did your part. Now I’m in charge. I have one specific question for you… What is one thing…?
Deanna: But…
Dr. A: Not, “But.” Not “Oh, I have many things.” What is one thing? I’m not asking you for 10 things. What is one thing you would like to improve in your health right now?
Deanna: Bring that visceral fat down.
Dr. A: Okay. So, you want to get rid of your visceral adipose. Okay. And the reason why you want to get rid of it is because now you understand that it’s not healthy for you, right?
Deanna: Well, I’m a type one. Diabetic.
Dr. A: Yeah. But here’s the point. The point is it is not healthy for you. So rather than focus on what you’re trying to get rid of, what are you focusing on doing? You’re focusing on becoming more, becoming healthier. Correct?
Deanna: Yes.
Dr. A: Okay. That’s what you focus on. You don’t focus on, “Oh, I only lost a quarter of a pound.” You focus on what you want to create. And then you look and see if that doesn’t happen, then what else can I do? What didn’t I do? What can I do better? In other words, what are the secondary choices that things I may not want to do, but they lead me to what I want. Here’s the other part of that. So, look up and see yourself. Look up at the sky. Is it sunny up there? Looks a little sunny. Yeah. Well, I mean, don’t look at the sun, but just look up at the sky. Okay. So…
Deanna: I’ll turn around, but yes.
Dr. A: Okay, good. Yeah. Look up and visualize that your waist now basically is at a healthy waist, less than, you’re, as a female, less than 35 inches. Your waist circumference is now less than 35 in. Right. How does that make you feel?
Deanna: I don’t know because…
Dr. A: I don’t look down. Look up. How would that make you feel?
Deanna: Well, how would that make me feel?
Dr. A: Yeah.
Deanna: I don’t know because I’ve never really been there.
Dr. A: Okay. You haven’t been there. But you know specifically that your metabolic… if you lose your visceral adipose, your health is going to be better. You’re probably going to have more energy. But you got to visualize this. I could tell you what it’s going to be like because I’ve helped tens of thousands of people do it. But you’ve got to realize why you’re doing it. Okay? You’re doing it because as you create your health, you’ll have more energy. You’ll fit better in your clothes. You’ll basically look better and be more attractive. You’ll basically sleep better. You’ll breathe better. If you have underlying cardiovascular disease, those things will improve. Your blood pressure will improve. Your cholesterol will improve. All these things are going to get better while you’re looking up. Okay? So, are those all things that you would love to have come into your life?
Deanna: 100%. Well, actually, to infinity. Yes. 100%.
Dr. A: To infinity. Exactly. Okay. Now, I want you to look down. Look down at the ground. Look down at the ground. That’s it. Keep those glasses on. Look down the ground. At the ground. All the way down. At the ground. Okay. What is one thing that’s going to keep you from doing that?
Deanna: The six inches between my ears.
Dr. A: Okay. Okay. So, when you do that, when you do that and look down at that, if that’s going to keep you from doing it, do you think you could, right now, can you even visualize all the great feelings you were starting to feel when we were looking up? Can you visualize any of when you’re looking down?
Deanna: Yes. Because I am…
Dr. A: No. No, you can’t. When you look down, all you see are the bad things. You see the things why you can’t do it. Because of my mind. Because I’m not strong enough. Because I get stuck. It goes on and on and on. Every time you’re looking down you can’t look up at what you want.
Deanna: I see.
Dr. A: Okay. That is the essence of why you’re stuck, because you’re looking for huge wins, which you’re never going to have. You don’t win by major breakthroughs. You win by incremental improvement in your standards. Small little changes where you avoid the sugar that you used to put in your coffee. You move more and you don’t sit on the couch, you stand up or you use a ball if you’re going to be in. You turn off the TV and you get out and enjoy nature like you are today. You make those choices, and in small increments, all those things will start to improve. See, the difference is the gain in the gap is that you’re only looking— you only need to have small incremental improvements to reinforce and build your self-efficacy. But if you’re looking for major wins, like everything, you know, Rocky went from being a bum to being a hero in two hours. Life doesn’t work like that. Life is a series of small choices that together amplify over time. And as you learn the Habits of Health, and you learn in the different areas through the “halo effect,” you’ll start to gain more traction, and you’ll gain more momentum. But the reality is life is a continual movement in a direction towards better health and wellbeing. It’s not an oscillating structure where you judge how you feel in the day and then say, “Well, today I’m going to get healthier. Tomorrow I don’t feel so good because I didn’t do so good today.” You get out get the emotions out, and you focus on the creative process, and you stop letting conflict manipulation, which is beating yourself up, be your judge.
Deanna: Which is odd because, and I thank you for that because I didn’t feel it was an emotional thing and then when I looked down I think— so my first thought to myself was, “Wow. I can actually look down at the ground and not fall over.”
Dr. A: Okay. Well, there you go. But then you weren’t doing, you weren’t following the directions. The directions were to look down and think of something that you don’t like, why you can’t do it, not something positive. So, first of all, you’ve got to listen to directions in order to experience the lesson. It’s important. And that’s one of the things is you’re creating health. Health is specific. It’s a set of data points that you measure and you look for incremental improvement. If the data points aren’t improving, then you’re not doing what’s necessary to make them improve. It’s as simple as that.
Deanna: Okay.
Dr. A: And the world, by the way, the environment, you’re a victim of the process of living in an obesogenic society. Your intentions have to be you need to become your own professional, your own expert in order to get out. Now get the help, the support, the skills, the strategy, the things that— the tools, all those things can help you. But know that you’re the chief executor of your health. Period. Right? And don’t even bother…
Deanna: Absolutely.
Dr. A: Don’t even share that. Don’t even, you know, “Oh, I was doing good.” No. Share that with your coach, but the rest of it, leave them out of the equation. The bottom line is, you’re in charge and so make the choices that support what you really want. And if you really want health, then go do it. And you do it through having the community, the tools, the coaching, help, the system. All those things together are necessary because the odds are against you living in the society if you don’t intentionally make the decision, the desired outcome to move forward and lower your waist circumference. Okay?
Deanna: Yes. Thank you. I appreciate this.
Dr. A: Now go do it.
Deanna: Yeah. I will. Thank you.
Dr. A: Good. Good. Awesome. All right. Who else do we got?
Rachel: All right. Next up, we have Mary. Hi, Mary.
Dr. A: Hey, Mary.
Mary: Hello. Good morning and congratulations on the impending arrival.
Dr. A: Thank you. Thank you.
Mary: I have eight grandchildren, and they’re my why.
Dr. A: Wow. I got a long way to catch up.
Mary: Yeah. My question was, I was listening to My Prescription for Life, and several times, and in other things you’ve written, you talk about getting up in the morning, getting out in the sun, getting… well I live in Olympia, Washington, and we rarely have sun in the mornings. It’s often raining, overcast, and in the winter the sun’s not up till like 8:30. So, do you have a recommendation for those of us in terms of…
Dr. A: Yeah, there’s actually, you can go online to Amazon and there are actually — to wake you up in the morning — there are actually different types of sun lamps that are that are designed so you can put them by your nightstand, put them somewhere in your room, and they actually can wake you up. They brighten. They have all the necessary ultraviolet light. They simulate natural sunlight. And they’re a great way to help with that and make sure you get an adequate dose of it because again, here’s a variation on the same thing I was just talking about, that is your underlying structure. That’s why — well, I’m the same way in here right where I am now, Manchester, England has got the same issue and there’s a coffee shop on every corner and the reason why is because they use caffeine, and caffeine, actually we’re finding more and more is healthy, but the point is, use what your body wants to use and that is natural sunlight as well, and so you can get that through the special lamps and they’re not expensive. You can get them through Amazon, and that would be a great way to help you with that.
Mary: Okay. Yeah, I’ve had one for a lot of years and what I find is it tends to dry out my eyes, you know, they say to look at it.
Dr. A: Well, you don’t have to look at it. You don’t have to look at it. You just have to have it on in the room. You don’t have to look directly at the light. I wouldn’t look directly at the light. I would just have it on in the room and then obviously if you need, you know, you can use lubricating eye drops that are just plain water with a little salt in them, you know, to take care of that as well.
Mary: Okay. Okay. Thank you very much.
Dr. A: Great. And by the way, are you enjoying My Prescription for Life?
Mary: Oh, I loved it. I mean, I’m not on the GLP1s, but I have a client who is. So, it was like, I’m trying to help her understand a little better how to use them and so I thought I would listen to it myself first. So it was a great— it’s very easy to listen to and apply.
Dr. A: Good. Good. Awesome. Thank you so much.
Mary: Thank you.
Dr. A: Okay. Who else we got?
Rachel: All right. Next up we have Michelle. Hi Michelle. Oh, you’re still muted.
Michelle: Okay. Can you hear me now?
Dr. A: Yep.
Chris: Hang on one second. Hang on one second. Trying to get Michelle on camera. Otherwise, you’re just going to stare at Mary for a second.
Dr. A: I see both of them.
Chris: There we go. There we go.
Dr. A: All right.
Michelle: Hi, Dr. Andersen, and congratulations. Grandbabies are the best. The best gift from God.
Dr. A: I’ve heard that many times. I’m looking forward to it.
Michelle: It is wonderful. We have eight…
Dr. A: Wow! You guys are killing me here.
Michelle: Well, we had five kids, so that makes a difference. So, and also, I just want you to know, I love your wife, Lori. Love her so much.
Dr. A: Appreciate that.
Michelle: Yes. Praying for you. My question is, how do I help people that are addicted to sugar like I was 10, it’s been 10 years ago now that I was able to, you know, lose 100 pounds and stay healthy. But how do I help people and tell them and share with them and help them to stay healthy or get healthy when they’re addicted to sugar? Because that’s a hard one. It’s really hard. I see that.
Dr. A: No, it is hard. It’s a— in fact, you know, lab rats, they basically, if they had a chance between heroin and sugar, they would take the sugar. I mean, that’s how powerful— it’s a very powerful addiction. And you know, it has a lot to do with the dopamine reward centers and the nucleus incumbent in our brain. And so when you’re addicted to it, it’s kind of like cigarette smoking. You have to basically have some way of removing it in order to sense the difference. And that’s one of the wonderful things about using fuelings, because they’re low glycemic, is that within three or four days of using them your insulin— the whole deal is you’ve got to break the cycle of insulin secretion and what ends up happening is we have very high insulin levels and when the insulin levels are high, basically, when we have sugar, the glucose goes up. The insulin goes up. Then the blood sugar goes down. As soon as it goes down, the brain you know can’t stand to be low on energy. It’s a very high consumption organ. So basically it needs energy. So it will cause these cravings. These ridiculous cravings. So, and so the couple one is if people are having to use the GLP-1’s that’s a great time to learn because basically it inhibits the dopamine reward system. It also stimulates brain derived neurotrophic factors. So that’s a great time, or if you’re using the fuelings, are like-minded and suddenly someone is not using, and using a substitute that doesn’t have sugar in it, over three or four days their insulin level will start coming down and then their cravings for sugar will go away during both those periods of time it’s really important.
[00:36:33] And then in the LifeBook I have the addiction to processed food in Element 16, which is some really good information that you can use and if they’re highly susceptible— basically the population falls into three three sectors. One is highly susceptible to glucose and addictiveology and especially addictive type foods, ultraprocessed foods. Some are medium, some are low. If they’re highly addictive, and have struggled many times trying to lose weight before and dieted, and yo-yoed, for those, actually a small dose of GLP is probably to help them in the beginning is probably helpful for them, knowing that their the goal is for them to work with you, learn the Habits of Health so eventually they won’t need it anymore but either way you could use the fuelings, by going on specifically, like the Five in One, in about three or four days they’ll lose those cravings and what ends up happening is they go into a mild fat burning state and that the brain uses ketones as a wonderful energy source. During that period, their addiction will be much lower and that’s a great time for them to start learning to dump and understand not to eat processed food and how to avoid that in the future.
Michelle: Yeah. And I was going to say, I should have added I guess, what happens is, what I’ve noticed is that when a holiday or the weekend hits and they’re with family that are not following that plan, or any plan for that matter, that’s when they go off and then it starts to cycle all over again. So I have seen it sometimes, it literally, it just happens for years.
Dr. A: Yeah. Well, it’s not… it’s just like cigarette smoking. There’s a physical addiction and there’s a mental addiction, right? They’re both there. They’re part of the same process. One is the reward system where when they do that, they get stimulated. You know, people, as simple as co-workers going outside and smoking together creates a— this bonding that occurs, and even if they start taking something that, you know, nicotine tablets, they still need that bonding. So, you’ve got to break both cycles. But a great way, the physiologic addiction, the actual chemical addiction, is usually where you want to start because that’s harder. And then when you get them away from it for a while, especially in the case of sugar, once their insulin level comes down and they stop having those wild peaks— and that’s why for people, you know, one of the things I found very helpful over the last couple years, and I actually wore one, and I wear it sometimes even now, is a glucose monitor because basically I’m very very aware. If I get any spikes and I figure out what caused that and then avoid eating that in the future. So that’s a great way to help them as well.
Michelle: Thank you. Yes, I’ve been sharing that since you shared that with us at Mini Sundance in Utah. I’ve been sharing that. So thank you.
Dr. A: Awesome. Great.
Michelle: Thank you so much.
Dr. A: You’re so welcome.
Michelle: Appreciate you. Bye.
Dr. A: Bye. Bye.
Rachel: All right. Next up, we have Karen. Oh…
Chris: Hopefully Karen will be back in just a moment.
Dr. A: She’s got some really interesting pastels in the background.
Karen: I’m here. I don’t know. I’m on my laptop, so I don’t know what that’s showing. I apologize.
Dr. A: Well, it’s very pretty. It looks like a bedspread or something.
Chris: It’s your phone. It’s your phone. Pick up your phone and point your phone at you. Other direction. Turn it around.
Dr. A: Hi! I see me.
Chris: There you go.
Karen: So, how do I disconnect my phone from my computer?
Chris: Click. Click on the little arrow. You got it? On Zoom. Click on the little arrow next to “video,” and then choose your laptop webcam instead of your iPhone. There you go!
Karen: There we go! Gosh, I’m glad I’m dressed. Okay. So my question, Dr. A…
Dr. A: Chris, excuse me one second. Chris, you are not right [Chris used a celebration feature on screen].
Karen: I know. This is my very first laptop ever and my only second time to use it. So…
Dr. A: That’s okay. Congratulations.
Karen: I know. And so I feel like a little kid at Christmas. My question is, we talk about the sun because I do like to go out and walk in my grass and do the grounding, but I’ve been told by two different doctors now. My vitamin D is too high. I haven’t been taking supplements. I’m not using all the essential vitamins because I use more the Ascend or not essential fuelings, I use more of the Ascend. I actually had to stop taking our Ascend vitamins because of the everything that had D in it because I’m at a 10 on my D. And so what is, when you ask the doctors, they’ll just say stop taking the D vitamin, stop doing this. And it’s like, well, I I’m not taking any. What would create a high vitamin D in a person?
Dr. A: Do you eat any unusual foods? Foods that are full of like, do you eat liver? Do you eat, you know, do you have any specific thing that in your diet that you have more than most people would that’s unique to your diet?
Karen: Not that I know of.
Dr. A: Where do you, first of all, let’s back up. Where do you live?
Karen: In Utah.
Dr. A: Okay. So, are you out in the sun a lot?
Karen: No. I mean, I’m out in the sun. Not like a ton, though. Especially with it being winter, I haven’t been out much.
Dr. A: Yeah. Yeah. So, that’s — and why did you get that checked?
Karen: Because I’ve been having some health issues for the last few years. And that’s just something they’ve told me about the last year is my D’s too high. And so, what am I eating? I don’t eat the liver. I don’t eat a lot of leafy greens. So I’ve really limited the foods I’m eating and the vitamins I’m taking, but I can’t get my D to come down. And so…
Dr. A: Well, I would actually go to chatGPT. Okay. Now that you’ve got a computer or you could do it on your phone— doesn’t matter.
Karen: Well, I did chat and they said the same thing the doctors did to stop eating these things and stop taking the vitamins. So, I can’t figure out what else to do.
Dr. A: Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it’s very unusual to have high vitamin D. Very unusual. So, how many times have they checked it?
Karen: I’ve had it checked three times.
Dr. A: And all three times it was high?
Karen: Yes, and that’s been like a six-month window. A six-month window. A six-month window.
Dr. A: You tried avoiding the things that are higher in vitamin D? It’s not come down at all?
Karen: No. And I hear the same thing. That’s really unusual. Most people don’t have enough vitamin D. So that’s why I’m like…
Dr. A: Yeah.
Karen: And I do like to walk, and I, but I only do that like three days a week outside. So I’m just curious if you had any…
Dr. A: Yeah. No, I’ve never, you’re the first person I’ve ever met that said that. So, what I would do, that’s why I’m saying go to, you know, the one thing about AI is that it’s a great repository of information and I would just really get into it and have it pull up everything. You know, obviously, is there, you know, are you using a tanning booth?
Karen: So I do tan a month out of the whole year…
Dr. A: One time a month out of the whole year?
Karen: No, I go one month like an unlimited month because, just to get started, and then I don’t.
Dr. A: Well, you know, obviously you could eliminate that. But, I just, it’s very hard for me to imagine that that would elevate your — what’s your descent? Are you from North Scandinavia or England or do you burn easily?
Karen: No. No.
Dr. A: No. Your complexion doesn’t look like it. I’m very, it’s very unusual. I usually I have the answer for most things. I do not have the answer for that. I can just tell you that obviously what you consume in your diet, well actually the number one cause for vitamin D to be high is excessive consumption through supplements. So, you’re not taking any supplements at all?
Karen: I was just using the Ascend vitamins and minerals. So, I do the fish oil, but I don’t do the vitamin mineral. And then, I don’t eat the liver and I don’t eat a lot of greens because that’s something my body hasn’t been able to handle for years. So, that’s what so— I hear the same thing. And I even put all my lab work into chatGPT for the last three year, the last three tests, and they say the same thing, most people don’t have this problem. And that’s why I’m like, I don’t know what to do to make it come down.
Dr. A: Yeah. I’ll tell you what, send me, get my information from Rachel, and let me do some research on, see if I can find any more information to help you. Okay?
Karen: Okay. I appreciate that.
Dr. A: You’re more than welcome.
Karen: And I have one other quick question. I was using the Trespatide and my doctor kept me on it for my cholesterol. What is your take on that? When I’m listening to your, My Prescription for Life, I know you say, there’s sometimes, it’s a good thing, but I’ve been on it for over a year now. And I would like to get off of it. He has me on the low dose because I have high cholesterol. I guess it’s just a DNA snag, but….
Dr. A: Yeah. Well, no, but there’s other medications, statins, and different things you can use.
Karen: He doesn’t want — I prefer not to take a statin. So, what would be the least of the two?
Dr. A: Well, I mean, using a micro dose, I mean long-term use of GLP-1’s, we don’t know, we don’t have long-term on, we have it on diabetics, we don’t have it on people that are non-diabetics, but, as a whole if you can go down to a lower dose, but the main reason why it lowers your cholesterol is because it helps with your biomarkers by reducing your — degradating your visceral atyposity. Is your waist circumference down to normal size now?
Karen: It’s still bigger than I would like, but it’s below the 35.
Dr. A: Well, then basically…
Karen: My mom did have type 2 diabetes and she had heart issues and that’s why he and she had cholesterol. So that’s why he’s…
Dr. A: Yeah. But most of that— remember, the primary cause of most of that is visceral atyposity. It’s metabolic dysfunction. Once you get your insulin level, have you stopped eating all sugars?
Karen: Well, just the sugars in our fuelings.
Dr. A: Yeah. But I mean, as far as you don’t take any added sugar?
Karen: No.
Dr. A: And you’re not eating any ultra-processed foods?
Karen: No. And I don’t eat out much because of the different things I’ve had to find with my body and stuff.
Dr. A: Yeah. Well, the bottom line is, you know, a lower dose of GLP, getting down to a micro dose, the main thing is get your waist circumference, get your BMI down under 25. Get your body composition as a female probably somewhere under 18% body fat. Get your visceral adipose down and hopefully you’ll be able to come off of it. You won’t need it anymore.
Karen: Okay. Because I am taking bergamot and there’s another natural herb I’m taking instead of the statins. Okay. Yeah, I’ll get that from Rachel.
Dr. A: Yeah. You get that information and let me see if I can find any more information for you on that. Okay?
Karen: Thank you.
Dr. A: All right. Yep. You’re welcome. Okay. Who else do we have?
Rachel: All right. Next up, we have Kayla. There’s Kayla.
Dr. A: Hey, Kayla.
Kayla: Hi. Good morning. How are you?
Dr. A: How are you?
Kayla: I’m fantastic. I’m doing well.
Dr. A: Awesome. I love to hear that.
Kayla: So, I have a question for you today. Walking through, speaking of parenting, parenting a 12 and 14 year-old and wanting your guidance on helping them understand the Drama and Empowerment Triangle. We have some extended drama going on that we can’t control, but I would love your guidance on some simple questions that could walk them through the process of allowing them to be creators and not live in the drama of it all.
Dr. A: Okay. Well, the questions I found the most effective are basically derived from what’s called “upset technology.” And it’s really just simply re-engaging — you know, in Element 4, and also in the Habits of Health, I talk a lot — and in My Prescription for Life as well — I talk about, the three progressive levels and actually I talked about it earlier today, about people getting caught in the limbic area of their brain. So teenagers are going through a process of developing independence. You know when they’re born, through their early— before they go into adolescence, it’s very important their primary mechanism is to belong. Be part of the clan. That’s important for security. It’s important for being in control, but control kind of usurps that once they get to be teenagers. So control is more important for them, and actually that independence that they’re doing and because their limbic area in their brain is really well developed, but the prefrontal cortex hasn’t totally developed yet — it doesn’t really even start even starting to develop till like they’re five or so. But then after that, in adolescence, the teenage brain is a very confused brain where they’re looking to create a new association with their friends and colleagues for support and for recognition because now they’re moving into a different area where they’re going to move into their reproductive years.
[00:50:30] So with that, mom, who was so smart earlier, and you will be just as smart when they’re in their 20s, right now is not considered. So you have to ask them questions and the most important one is to get them out of it, because you can’t discuss with them when they’re in drama, emotionally charged. There’s no rational part of their brain that’s working. So the best way to do that is reestablish the prefrontal cortex working. So very simple questions and you’ve heard these before but I think they’re really important. Is when they come in and they’re all jazzed up, is to ask first, what happened? And then listen completely without intervening. You might be able to fix it almost immediately. They don’t even want to be fixed. They want to know that you’re listening to them. So what happened, and let them go through the whole thing.
Okay. What was missing? That’s a good one, right? What’s missing? What was missing there? Why did that happen? What’s what’s missing? You can also ask them as an ancillary one if they need more time in there, what was your expectation? What did you want to have happen? And then after they’ve done that and they’ve gone through that, you’ll see a progression and you’ll watch them switch from the limbic area to the prefrontal cortex because to answer the questions what happened, what was missing, it requires them to re-engage the intelligent area of their brain, the executive areas. So as that happens, you’re turning off the limbic area, you’re turning off the emotional areas, and you’re turning on the rational areas. And then the last is what’s next? So what do we need to do? And certainly, you know, don’t be the hero. It’s not your responsibility to say, “Oh, I’m totally at fault there.” That’s not the answer. The answer is not to totally blame them. And the answer isn’t to blame it on someone else. It’s to look at the situation and say, “Okay, how do we improve this and move you from the Drama to the Empowerment Triangle?” And it’s as simple as doing this.
It’s exactly what the talk was today. Once you can build internal stability and external equilibrium, everything in their life will improve as well. Once they realize by them being the rational one in the room, when they’re around, you know, their friends or colleagues, then they’ll be the one that’s respected and more listened to. That’s a great way, because kids want to be liked. They want to be liked by their peers. So to be liked by their peers, traditionally, what they do is, “Me too,” and they just agree with everything and it becomes one big Drama Triangle. So not by disagreeing with the peers but by just being there and listening and asking questions and teaching them to use that same technology that starts giving them tremendous power and ability because communication can only occur when the rational part of the brain— because the emotional part of the brain doesn’t have any language. There’s no way you could describe love. You know poets try to do it, but there’s no emotional way to describe it. And so basically, we have to use words to articulate what we’re feeling, but it doesn’t work. So by communicating with them and getting them so that they know that you’re there, you’re listening, you’re not judging them, you’re simply there to be a conduit to help them work through it for themselves. And if there’s some things that they ask out to reach there, and know that you love them unconditionally, those are all components. And to do it in very very small little increments. So it’s not like, “Oh, mom suddenly became the most wonderful person.” No, just do it in small increments and allow them to realize that it’s this. If they come in and it becomes this, it stays that way. But if they come in and it’s like this, and you’re here, and they’re doing this, eventually they’ll realize, “Whoa. I’m not getting any emotional. I’m not getting any adrenaline here.” Right? Because that’s what they’re looking for. They’re looking for purpose for meaning. The adrenaline awakens them up, allows them to be alive, and they feel charged by it. So, they like that feeling, and it’s an important feeling for them. For you, not so much. Is that helpful?
Kayla: Super helpful. Thank you.
Dr. A: Good. Awesome. Cool.
Kayla: See you soon. Thanks.
Dr. A: All right. Can’t wait to see you. All right. We got any last ones before we call it…?
Rachel: We have one more.
Dr. A: Okay. Great.
Rache: We have TJ.
Dr. A: Hey, TJ.
TJ: I am so excited about you becoming a grandparent. I just, Oh! So, but I do have a question about that before I ask my question. What are you going to be called?
Dr. A: Grampy.
TJ: Grampy, oh, I love it. Okay, thank you.
Dr. A: That’s what, you know, that’s a tradition. That’s what, my grandfather was one of my favorite people, and he was called Grampy, and so out of honor to him that’s what I’m going to be called.
TJ: I love that. Okay. Okay. Back to reality. So my question is, could you direct me on maybe getting — Chris… So could you direct me on maybe creating a deeper why in the area of identity? I really want to be a leader of leaders. I really want to be somebody who just knows that I’m a healthy person. But I think that when I start looking for my why, I mean, the biggest why that I have in my life is to be able to dance vivaceiously at my grandchildren’s wedding, and they’re like eight, nine and six. So, I have that drawing course, but I know that I need to go a little bit deeper. I’m wondering if you could just give me some tips on how to go deeper in who I want to be.
Dr. A: Yeah. So, let’s be clear on identity because I wrote a book with Robert Fritz on identity. You are not a grandmother. You are not a wife. You are not a coach. Those are titles that you’ve been given for areas that you are designated because they’re things that, in essence, in reality you’re part of. Your identity is not the key part. Your standards are the part — the standards are more important than your identity. You become something different because you change your standards. That’s why, like you know, I love the admiral that talks about making the bed in the morning, right? Because the bottom line is that’s something that if you do it then it becomes kind of your standard. It’s your standard. And what’s great about it, you’re creating order, which is a form of discipline, which is a form of being able to negotiate and not just be spontaneous to everything. It’s okay to be spontaneous about some things, but there’s certain things, you know, healthy people are basically disciplined in that they don’t do. It’s not that they’re restricting themselves. They’re becoming a healthy person. They make those choices because they support what’s most important. So the two things I always talk about is organize your life around what matters most to you. So figure out what those things are and then become the Dominant Force in your life. And that’s what I was talking about to the very first guest today, is that decide what you want, why you want it, why it’s important, and then become it. And you’re becoming it because that’s what you do.
So if you are a healthy person, you don’t smoke cigarettes, you don’t drink yourself to death on the weekends, you certainly don’t do drugs, you basically, because those are choices that do not allow you to be healthy. And those are pretty radical examples, but the little subtleties are, you know, just small incremental improvement. So pick out — the most important thing to guide us in our lives is what do you value most? And I’m not talking about moral, ethical values. I’m talking about things we actually value. What’s most important to us? Like this week, for me being, I mean, I’ve got a million things… I really need to get back to the States, but I value this time with my daughter more than anything. So basically that becomes something where my motivation is to stay here until she delivers, and for a few days be here with them, because that’s very important. And then, because of that, that strengthens me, and rearranging flight schedules, transportation, services, car services, hotel reservations. I had to do quite a few things. None of those things I wanted to do and they cost money. The little sweetheart has already cost me money. I haven’t even seen her yet, you know. So, and we are kidding around about that, but the point is, when you’re putting the things you don’t need much value, when you’re highly — and you’re, I’m sorry, you don’t need much motivation when you’re highly value something it becomes a natural thing and I always use the analogy of the parents stuck in a burning hotel room with their kids on the other side. Forty stories up, you wouldn’t think twice going across the ledge because you value your children that much. It’s that important to you.
So it’s really important that we organize our life around what matters most. Many things that you may theoretically think, well I want to be a great leader but what does that mean? What does a great leader mean? What does that — because I want people to say how good I am. So you have to really go all the way down to what is the purpose? And the things you value the most. The hierarchy of those things. The thing you value the most of all when you keep asking, well why do I want that? Why do I want that? That then becomes your purpose. So for me, my purpose and why I continue to do this, I mean, I don’t have to do this anymore, but I do it specifically because I value helping people. This, you know, I’m in, it’s 5 hours. It’s, what time is it? Six o’clock at night and I’m having to get ready to go back to a hospital, you know, but I’m doing this forum because I value the people’s lives I can touch and it’s important to me and and so that’s what you want to do. You want to make sure you’re not, that’s why material things, if you look at the hierarchy of motivation, the lowest level is fear. The next level is extrinsic motivation like wealth and cars and stuff. The next is intrinsic motivation. The next is fun. We love to have fun. It goes back to our childhood. And then the highest is agape love where we’re doing something — we feel this deep spiritual connection to another. You know, agape love, so to speak. All those things are critical, but what’s more critical are the ones that are the most important to you.
So rather than just say, well, I want to be great at this and great at that, figure out, what do you really value? And then and then use that to organize, and then those principles will become easier for you to do. Okay.
TJ: So that definitely created something within me because one of the things that I really want to be as a leader of leaders, but why do I want to be that? It’s because I really want to impact other people’s lives by being able to help them become leaders of themselves, leaders of leaders. And so I guess impact is kind of….
Dr. A: Well, so have to figure out what… okay. When you say leaders of leaders, you know, obviously, I have created a lot of leaders and I mentor a lot of people. But I want to make sure you’re realizing what’s most important to you. And so I would never say I want to become leaders of leaders. I want to help people organize their life around what matters most. In your case, if you want to be a leader of leaders, you need to be really clear on what that means because you said several different things when you said that. You said, “I want to help people improve their health.” Well, you don’t have to be a leader of leaders to help someone help their health. So, you’ve got to figure out what specifically do you mean by that. We have a tendency to say stuff, but if it’s unclear, what it really means, then we’re not going to get it. Because, you know, again, the creative process, one of the most powerful forces on the planet. The creative process is desired outcome, current reality within what that is I’m looking at in my life. Then the secondary choices are the things that move you forward. But if you’re not clear what the desired outcome is, then your tactics will be blurry and your action steps will also be blurry because it’s very different helping an individual create health.
So right now I’m creating a talk for for Go Global and it’s about the the creating the new standard of health for the world and in that, one of the most important things for people to understand is the mechanism between what I just said, conflict manipulation, which is what the first guest was talking about and what you’re saying is, what are the things that I want to create? And then specifically, and the reason why we set goals is to, actually more than anything, become a filter for our daily activity because our lives — you know, it’s interesting because I went to a, my son-in-law took me to a 15th century library here, it was incredible with these huge texts and you looked at how they were made and the small presses they used to make them, they were, once Gutenberg developed the press we were able to communicate, but if you looked in terms of a person would work 40 years on one document, come in every day, open it up and write and work on it. You know, you in a process of one hour by going online or on your phone, you’ve touched 70,000 touch points that are small little cognitive stimulates in your brain. We’re in the most distracted time of the whole planet. So until you become specifically clear and focused, focusing psychological flexibility in order to be adaptable and reframe and focus, specific laser focus, on what you actually want is necessary in order to actually create anything.
So the goals you set, the primary choice, those are simply ways to filter what you should do during the day and what you shouldn’t do and be able to know the difference, whether it’s leading to what you want or not. So you’re going to become much more focused on becoming what you mean by becoming a leader of leaders.
TJ: Okay. I need to focus on clarity and I can’t wait to see you at Go Global.
Dr. A: All right. Sounds great. Awesome. Thank you. All right. Well, Rachel, we are done for today. Chris, thanks as usual for all your side effects. You are one big piece of work. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. And everyone, have an amazing week. And let’s go out and let’s pray for a healthier, safer world. God bless. Thanks.
